Opening my eyes, realizing the totality
Of hell
I got as far away from the sun
As I needed to
I made a wish to the sky
Bringing me a man to love
That was everything
I wanted
To learn you must be careful
What you wish for
The first day of class
A staggering joy of all these faces
Maybe I would love one of them
I already loved all of them
Mister, I've had my eye on you
From the start
When you did not even know
I was sitting so close
You were coming along lines
along paper
along dreams
I took tiny steps,
Planting magic at each turn
The world doesn't know
My patience
Every single blink
Every sigh
Make perfect sense to me
You are not logical
For I am utterly confused
When you stepped forward
Quietly but certain
I wanted to cry out in joy
All those little moments
Where I sat patiently across from you
Keeping quiet
Unable to think clearly
And then there was the explosion
Everything at once
My bones are strong
My heart beats on
I have magic flowing
Through my veins
Out my fingers
I poured it into you
Now, as it were
I got what I wanted
I got what I wished for
But I never could have thought
Never could have wrapped my head around
My heart around
What you would do to me
And who you are
The world, the gods, the ocean
hearing the call of
conducting tears
delivered you
to me
Perhaps I should have asked
To find love that was returned
Perhaps I should have prayed
For the type of love I needed
Perhaps perhaps perhaps
It does not matter
The stakes are high
My heart is on fire
You are no longer here
Yet you still take me higher
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