Love will
Love will encompass you
It will shelter and expose you
It will create the tears
It inevitably dries
Love will change you
It will take everything you know
And shake it about
It will hold your hand
And leap with you
Love will take you for granted
And surprise you
Love will encompass you
It will seek you out
Find you
It will heal you
Teach you
And stay with you forever
Love will
Love itself,
The thing of myths
The thing of mountains
The very air
We breathe
You cannot prepare for love
You cannot be sure
What it will do
Except love you
Love, itself, will encompass you
There is nothing love will not do
Love will, my dear
Open your eyes
Do not fear love
For it is our eventual demise
-
dear shadow
my love, my life, my soul mate
where have you gone?
there is no heaven beautiful enough
for you
were you struck by lightning?
one day, loping through the snow
the next i found you breathless
like you always left me
remember when you were in the womb?
we loved each other even then
my destiny
i do not think i could have made it
to our new home
without you
remember how i ran to you
after that scared boy held a knife
at his throat?
i grabbed you and never let you go
reclaimed you in the same breath
i reclaimed myself
there is nothing i can apologize for
i know you would not have left me
unless it was right, the right time
the right place
i am so blessed that you were able to share
the green, the rain, the cloudy skies
with me
so blessed you were able to share
all of my time with me
because you have always been with me
in a way humans could not be asked
i am not sure what life will be like
without you
right now, it feels very lonely
no matter what i try to say - only
one thing appears
thank you
thank you for giving me your everything
thank you for sharing your life with me
for giving me wings
for sharing your knowledge
for being there through the abuse
the earthly demands humans are all subject to
i love you
and will forever love you
-
I cannot pretend that the world will understand.
To them - he was a horse and I am a girl.
They are right.
I cannot hide from the capabilities inside of me,
feeling as though someone is stuck and trying to claw their way out.
I know what it is.
Human love cannot understand.
Equine love cannot either.
We may be a horse and a girl,
but what we shared goes beyond this physical world.
I have lost horses, I have lost people.
I have been loved and broken.
I have lost not a horse, not a person, but a soul.
A heart.
A beautiful creature that taught me, comforted me, gave me unconditional love.
Became the true essence of having someone there for me no matter what.
What he gave me - I could never ask of anyone.
I didn't even ask it of him.
He just gave it, gave freely.
And so I returned all I could in the way I knew.
I do not want to replicate this.
I do not want to put this into words.
I do not want to build a grand statue for his life.
There is only one masterpiece that could ever fully and completely
encompass him.
I am going to give this life my all.
I am going to make my very breath poetry.
I shall change the world.
I shall help the helpless and give a voice to the voiceless.
I will use whatever my greatest strengths are
to heal the wounded.
Just like Shadow did for me.
I will love freely, forgive daily and become the woman I know I am.
I am going to do it for me
And I am going to do it for him
Because that is how it has always been.
We are not two separate beings.
We are one in the same.
We are both breathing right now -
this time only through my lips.
We are both seeing the beauty of this world -
this time only through my eyes.
He gave me the gift of his life.
And now it is my time to give him the gift
of mine.
Anything less would be a lie.
Tonight I write the saddest words,
but the strength and love behind them will change the world.