Alis Volat Propris

Wake up and see him laying in a field
Full of snow and dying grass
See him from your window
Yell his name so he can look up
Look up and tell you to fix breakfast
Like he has
For all his life
And all of your life
That you can remember

But he doesn’t say a thing
He’s motionless
You focus on his stomach
Is there a rise and fall?
Is there something?
Is it just your imagination?

Crawl through that fence
Crunch through the ice
Sit next to this head
That head full of all you know
His eyes are a milky white
His gums feel cold to the touch

Remember all those boys
They broke your heart
You ran down to him and hugged him
His smell is all around you

Remember all those unknowns
Remember how he saved you
Remember how he gave you hope

He is gone

Snap your fingers
Blink your eye

You still do not understand

He is gone

Remember how you understood
Remember the feeling of flying
Of undying love
Remember how you healed him
How he healed you
Remember how no matter where you were
He was there

Do you remember the tall grass?
Do you remember the cloudy skies?
Those milky eyes?

He is gone.
Blink once.
Snap your fingers.
He is still gone.

Do you remember?
How could I ever
Ever
In the complexity of time
Forget?

The human race may never know
This love
But it is with me forever
In this complete mess
We call a heart or a soul or a person

Remember? Remember?
He is ingrained in everything
In every single god damn thing I give this world
There is my Shadow

My Shadow
My love
My life
My everything

How could I forget?
How could I not remember?
My everything

He gave me the sky
When my face was on the ground
He gave me wings
When they were nowhere found

When there was not a soul left
In this world who could ease this breaking heart
He stood by me and built me up
We built each other up

He’s gone.
My Shadow.
He’s never coming back.
Blink your eyes.
Snap your fingers.
Gone.
Forever.